Things that can trigger flashbacks include spending time with your partner who cheated on you, romantic sounds, love stories, not hearing from your partner, and sometimes they can come out of nowhere when you least expect it. Being betrayed by a loved one can often be traumatic. To overcome triggers, understand them first. Consider yourself the injured partner (the person who was hurt by someone else's actions) and not the betrayed spouse (even if that's how you feel).
Betrayed puts you in the role of the victim and the partner involved in a treacherous role. Pain is an emotional state that allows for active healing. I want to address something that happens to all women who have been sexually betrayed. A trigger is something that triggers a memory, which takes you back to the moment of your original trauma.
Triggers are very personal; different factors trigger different people. Triggers can be one of the most difficult aspects of dealing with the aftermath of infidelity. Unfortunately, they are quite common, and the betrayed spouse will often experience them when they encounter certain places, words, or events that remind them of the betrayal they experienced in their marriage. If you're not careful, triggers can take over your life and even cause you to avoid going to events or places where thoughts come up that you don't want to think about.
Are you waiting for your next shoe to drop? One danger after being deceived is that trauma can force us to observe and judge our partner, even unconsciously. We can get stuck in a state of high alert, and any hint of love or affection pushes us to the limit to triggering states. Behaviors that remind us of traps cause us to press the red alert button in our heads. Inconsistencies in our partner's behaviors cause our brain to accelerate, evaluating and questioning.
Both of you were discovering new information while your husband was cheating on you, and the way your husband was handling you was motivated by not supporting them and denying your reality.
